Sometimes I think that he gave each of us our own weaknesses. It’s almost like he thought, “This is going to be Krystal, and her flaws are going to be numerous because I think if she needs to work harder to overcome them, she’ll have a greater faith in me. But her greatest weakness, the one she’ll work hardest to overcome, will be grudges, bitterness and forgiveness.”
Alas, here I am.
Many questions, many struggles, many weaknesses and the greatest of these is the anger I feel toward those who’ve wronged me or the ones I love.
How many times does he tell us through the Bible that he wants us to love others?
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” – John 13:34-35
“And now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” – 1 John 4:7-8
He never says, “Dear child, you don’t have to love the people who are mean to you.”
And therein lies my greatest challenge.
You see, I tend to like most people. I hate no one. But when I feel wronged or distrustful of another person, I’m the clam who initiates her force field. I don’t speak to you. I don’t look at you. It’s like you’ve disappeared from the face of this earth.
It is then I must pray, seek forgiveness and the strength to let go of that anger and embrace love. Easier said than done, but since I have done it, I know I can do it again.
Right now, I find myself angry at people very near and dear to my heart. I feel wronged, unloved and a lot of bitterness. I can’t seem to rid my mind of the pain or the anger. There are few people, upon hearing the story, who wouldn’t say, “You have every right to feel this way.” The problem is that I know God wouldn’t say that.
In fact, as it is written in Galatians 5:14, “The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
It doesn’t get any clearer than that now does it?
But among those weaknesses God gave me, he threw in a little bit of saving grace. Anger brews, yes, but not for long. I can’t hold a grudge.
He knew that too for Psalm 30:5 says, “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”
I’m still a work in progress, and God has his work cut out for him. But so do I for that matter. I’m trying to obey him, follow his commandments and strengthen my faith. I’ve got a lot to work on, and I pray for his continued guidance in this journey. He’s given me the manual. I know what I must do, but it’s not easy.
I must seek his grace for as Paul recounted in 2 Corinthians 12:9: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
I’m weak. He’s strong. Even in pain, I can overcome with his almighty grace, forgiveness and love.